Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
