I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
