You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
