Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
