I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I love having hate sex.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
