I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
