She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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