Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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