just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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