Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
