I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
