The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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