vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
