he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
