Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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