so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
