Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
