I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
