I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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