So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
