The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
