Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
