just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
