i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
