haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
