belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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