My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
