My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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