coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
