i would punch a child for taco bell
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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