Please, let me fuck your mom
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
