3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
