I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
