WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I would fuck him just for his dog
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
