I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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