She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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