She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
