I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
