the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
