i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
