do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
