Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
organizing the empties. That sober.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She bit a glass in half.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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