she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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