he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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