I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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