I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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