the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
