wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
