its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
