Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
