dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
